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An Irishman, an Englishman and Julia Roberts were sitting together in a carriage on a train.

Suddenly the train went through a tunnel, and as it was an old-style train, there were no lights in the carriages, and it went completely dark.

Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Julia Roberts and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened, and the Englishman had his hand against his face as if he had been slapped there. The Englishman was thinking, “The Irish fella must have kissed Julia, and she missed him and slapped me instead.” Julia Robert was thinking, “The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.”

And the Irishman was thinking,

“This is feckin great, to be sure. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, I’ll make another kissing noise and slap that English fecker again.”

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