“Minor Problem: I Identify as a 73-Year-Old Tabby, Therefore I’m Legally Entitled to X (and Werther’s Originals)”
By [Little Johnny], definitely not a cat

BRUSSELS/SYDNEY.
Last week the European Union and Australia simultaneously banned under-16s from social media to “protect children.”

This week I solved the problem for every teenager on the continent and Australia:
I came out as a cat.

Not in the cringey 2016 Tumblr way.

In the 2025, fully compliant, legally airtight way.

Dusty Gulch Gazette – Special Duck Census Edition

By Roderick (Whiskers) McNibble – Foreign Correspondent, Rodent Division
Filed from beneath the bar at the Dusty Dingo, where the floor is sticky but the truth is clear

Dusty Gulch has survived bushfires, floods, rat plagues, ( yours truly was a survivor of the last one ) locust waves, and a brief but memorable outbreak of interpretive pirate dance in ’92. But nothing -  nothing -  prepared the town for Duck Day.

A new national directive, written somewhere far above sea level by people who panic at the sight of soil, had declared that all future population metrics must be duck-based.

Not Dusty Gulch Day. Not Eureka Day. No, this was the day the bright lights of bureaucracy descended, clipboards quivering, to announce that from now on, only ducks count.

You could hear the silence fall across the Gulch like a dropped stubby.

Even the roos stopped mid-chew. Even the crows paused mid-criticism. Even Trevor the Wallaby -  whose titanium-and-tungsten cyber-knees can hear electromagnetic storms three postcodes away - went very still.

And at Moonlight Manor, the temperature rose six degrees.

Flysa spent some of the early years of his life managing construction projects in the northwest of Western Australia to assist in the transportation of iron ore. The projects comprised railways, bridges, and wharves. But how did the iron ore get there? To answer that question, we have to go back a few years.

About 4.5 billion years ago, the Earth was formed as a sphere of molten rock from gases emitted by the Sun. Over millions of years, the surface gradually cooled and formed a solid, uneven, crust with constant upthrust from the molten interior (magma). Volcanic emissions from the molten interior, which broke through the crust, released water vapour into the atmosphere, which gradually condensed and fell as rain, covering the lower depressions in the earth’s surface with water by the force of gravity, thus forming the oceans. Cometary impact also contributed water to the oceans. That all occurred about 3.8 billion years ago. All the time the mountains were pushed up by the magma at the rate of a few millimetres a year, which continues to this day.

In the heart of Ballarat in 1854, a ragtag coalition of gold miners took a defiant stand against colonial authority, sparking an uprising that would forever shape Australia’s democratic identity.......until recently. 

The Eureka Stockade was more than a clash over mining licenses and unfair taxes ....it was a fiery assertion of rights, equality, and the power of collective resistance.

Though brief and bloody, the rebellion became a touchstone for the values of justice and representation, igniting debates that still resonate in the fabric of Australian society. This is the story of how a goldfield rebellion became a cornerstone of a once great national identity.

‘We swear by the Southern Cross, to stand truly by each other, and fight to defend our rights and liberties’

The Bhopal Gas Tragedy: Forty-One Years On — A Legacy That Still Breathes, Bleeds, and Demands Justice

On the night of December 2–3, 1984, the city of Bhopal went to sleep under an ordinary winter sky. By dawn, it would bear witness to one of the most devastating industrial disasters in human history.

Shortly after midnight, 40 tonnes of methyl isocyanate (MIC)  -  a volatile chemical used in pesticide production – escaped from a storage tank at the Union Carbide India Limited (UCIL) plant. Heavier than air, the gas rolled downhill into the densely populated neighbourhoods surrounding the factory, settling over sleeping families like a toxic fog.

People woke up choking. Eyes burned. Throats constricted. Bodies convulsed. Entire families fled blindly into streets already thick with the dying.

The tragedy was not an accident of fate but a catastrophic chain of preventable failures. Water had entered an MIC tank during routine maintenance, triggering a runaway reaction. The plant’s critical refrigeration unit -  meant to keep the chemical stable - had been idle for months, reportedly due to cost-cutting. Safety systems were dysfunctional, alarms failed, and the understaffed night shift was unprepared for disaster.

Within hours, the streets of Bhopal became a scene of terrible suffering.